Back to School for GrownUps

One of the tasks that pretty much every student - mature or otherwise -will need to master at some point is setting priorities.

We older folk can quite often excel in this area - comes from having more life experience than a lot of the young uns - but on the other hand, we also quite often have a whole lot more juggling to do.

Carrying a full load of coursework and perhaps a part-time job can be challenging … toss in families wanting dinner, kids wanting their mommy or daddy, bills wanting to be paid, parents in need of support, etc. etc. etc… oh - and you still wanted time for yourself too? Good luck with that - unless & until you decide that your own mental health gets a spot on the list of priorities.

For many of us, that’s the tough one.

We feel as though we have to do it all and be it all - and do well at school … and we have a tendency to think that school IS the thing we do for ourselves - and because we’re doing that, we don’t also get to take time for doing that which supports us.

We feel as though we are depriving our families of our time & attention in favour of our education - and often, we try to make it up to them by going overboard … and in the process, losing sight of not only the end goal - but also our own mental health. Bad plan.

You are not jumping through all those hoops only to fail, right?

That would be a bad plan.

I’ll be writing a lot more about setting priorities on this blog …but for starters… how about some homework? Are you in school?

Take a few minutes to jot down a list of everything you need to do over the next week. And don’t forget to include at least one thing that supports you.

You would think that those of us who have done the whole back to school thing SO many times would have it down by now, wouldn’t you? I mean come on - this coming Tuesday will be what… my 19th or 20th “first day” as a student…that doesn’t count several years of teaching - and then I had two kids too…. I have a TON of back to school first day experience.

And still I fuss and stress… and have a knot in my gut. Already… it’s Friday… still have 3 more sleeps!

Some of the knot is not directly a result of back to school anxiety, I think… there’s a bunch that is related to leaving hubby *POUT*

Not that I’m really LEAVING him, you understand!

But he is working here for a few more weeks … and the university is really too far for commuting (I would if I could though!!!!) … so for the first few weeks we will be apart during the week. I have a motel room booked … it works out cheaper to go with a weekly rental on a housekeeping suite for 8 months than to get caught in a 12 month lease, so we’re trying it this way for now … and I will come home on weekends.

I do not like that!

Some of the knot is kidShit … my 2 kids are both college graduates now - and both of em really badly NEED TO FIND JOBS.. like yesterday! Moving youngest in with oldest this weekend… so some stress related to that more than to my first day at school on Tuesday.

But yeah… some of it is clearly just good old back to school impending first day anxiety. Will I fit in? What if they don’t like me? What if I can’t do the work? What if I get lost? Where will I park? What should I wear? Oh yeah - and just because I’m ~special~ …I have one more to worry about than most people… What if I fall down go boom and embarass myself? Should I warn them that I sometimes fall down go boom and embarass myself - or just pray a lot? What if I DO fall down go boom and someone calls an ambulance? ACK!!!

It is soooooooooooo easy to get oneself all worked up about starting something new…. and starting a new school year is most definitely something new!

Fortunately, in only 4 more sleeps, the worst will be over! And chances are that everything will have sorted itself out, and the knot in my stomach will be much smaller, if not gone entirely… and then I will no doubt be ready to laugh at myself!

After all - what’s the worst that can happen?

As you can see, I have begun adding some resource links to the blogroll … not that many yet - mostly because I am working on my brand spanking new back to school laptop. It is very, very pretty …and also very, very fast compared to either of my 2 older computers (yes, I am a geek as a matter of fact!) … but I do not yet have the track pad sorted out. I need a proper mouse.

At some point today, I shall get off my butt and go buy a proper mouse. But for now, I am making do, and getting frustrated… so more linking of resources will have to wait. I wonder if I can buy a purple mouse to match my laptop? Would that be just too much geekdom? Probably I will likely go for what ever is cheap - I don’t even want a wireless, as I have a history of snapping the little doomaflicky that goes in the USB port right off. Very expensive tendency!

So anyway - resources! I can stay on topic, really Sometimes. So far today has not shaped up to be one of those times, but I will get there. Soon. Hopefully. I have a 15 - 20 page psychology paper to write between now and when I start at Trent on Tuesday morning. It doesn’t HAVE to be done - but it would be SO nice to get it done and out of the way before I jump into the next bit. Will still have to arrange to write the exam for the course, also - but once the paper is done, the bulk of the course (and stress) will be finished.

I will continue to add to the resource links as I round them up or come across them - and eventually, will also write some articles re: specific resources and so on - but I certainly encourage you to share any resources you have come across in your travels with us, and will be happy to add them to the list.

What websites have helped you in your back to school as a grown up experience? Tell us about them!

There are so many possible reasons to consider going back to school as a mature/returning student.

In some cases, it comes down to money/opportunities… if you are not happy with where you are and what you are being paid, why not look at other options?

In others, it is about doing what you love, or have always wanted to do.

In mine - at least once - it was a response to burn out. Best decision I ever made.

I had been working in the mental health system. I had been working mostly with kids and I loved it. It was my passion, and I was totally committed to it - to making a difference in the lives of the children I worked with.

But then I had a serious car accident, and I was physically not able to work directly with emotionally disturbed and acting out kids.

After about 4 years off, during which I mostly played video games and went to physiotherapy programs, I was able to work again… but not with my messed up kids. I worked with adults.

Spent some time as a Rights Advisor - that was a job that I could have done for years & years. But then Mike Harris won the election in Ontario, and one of the first things he did was axe the Ontario Advocacy Commission. You still had rights if you were mentally ill in Ontario - but you no longer had the right to know about them, or be supported to exercise them. Details, details.

Anyway - I did some other social service type jobs …but the climate here was very much at odds with my own personal beliefs and values, and it did not take long for me to crash and burn out….waaaaaaaaaaay out.

I just could not do it any more. In one week there were three incidents that contributed to my decision to go back to school:

1. A woman (that I didn’t know) who was mentally ill - but not seriously mentally ill enough to be eligible for help in Mike Harris’ Ontario - killed a toddler that was being pulled for a ride in a wagon by a 14 yo babysitter. I wonder if the babysitter ever got seriously mentally ill enough as a result to qualify for help.. probably not.
2. I met with one of my clients and she complained about her doctor wanting to increase her dosage of antidepressants. Even with the proposed increase, my dosage was higher. That struck me as wrong - that I was being paid to support people that needed less medication than I did.
3. I received a call telling me that a client had committed suicide and I was to go and mediate a support group that that client’s family had been attending for years. I did not know a single person in the group - but I was expected to go be supportive.

   Before the meeting, I sat outside the meeting place - on the edge of a concrete planter, I remember - and wrote reams of paper - tears streaming down my face - about how I could not do it - had nothing left to give.

So - even though I was a single parent, and had 2 kids depending on me - that week, I filled out applications for college.

I decided that I would go work with computers.

I knew next to nothing about computers.

But I liked writing on them. I was newly involved in the Internet, and enjoying that.

And I knew that computer programmers were anti-social types who could work in a cubicle and not have to interact with people.

And besides, computers do not call you up in the middle of the night and threaten to commit suicide unless you come up with the right thing to say or do.

So - I went back to school.

Have you gone back to school? I would love to hear your story. What caused you to take that step?

Are you thinking about going back? Love to hear about that too… why you’re considering it…what you’d like to take… ?

This blog is for those who are thinking about going back to school after having left it - for a short while - or for a looooooooooooooooong while… and/or for those who have already jumped in and are doing it now.

I’m on my third … oops… make that fourth … post-secondary education experience. After high school, I worked for a few months, then took Child & Youth Work (with Deaf Option) at Fanshawe College in London Ontario. After many years of working in child & youth work, and in a number of other social-work-y type roles, I burned out, at which point I enrolled in the Computer Programmer Analyst program at Georgian College in Barrie. I stayed on there as a teacher, but eventually decided to go back yet again … this time, I did an Bachelor of Arts (Honours) in English at Laurentian University.

And now, in only 7 more sleeps, I’m off to begin my Master’s in English: Public Texts at Trent University in Peterborough, Ontario. I’m excited - and also petrified!

Anyway …as you have no doubt gathered, I am Canadian - and some of the terminology re: programs and so on are different. But this site is intended for everyone - so hopefully between my research and your input, we will get that all sorted.

Your questions, ideas, experiences & comments are and will always be most welcome on Back 2 School 4 GrownUps … please do jump in and participate!