Nov 04 2008
To Drop or Not to Drop
So - the drop date for courses is November 7.
I have a signed Add/Drop form in my purse.
I don’t want to drop the course - it would be Law & Moral Regulation in Neo-Liberal Society that would go (just because the work load for that one is HUGE - and it is not in the English department, and since I’m an English student…)
I like the course - it is interesting, and I can relate it to my research stuff (adolescents in group homes and residential treatment centres coming into pretty regular contact with the so called ~justice system~). And the point of front loading this semester - i.e. taking 3 electives now and only 1 next semester was/is valid: next semester I am teaching 3 classes in Barrie - which is about 40 minutes from where I live, and 2.5 hours from the University I attend. If I drop a course I will have to pick up another one next semester, which will only prolong the too-much-on-my-plate agony.
On the other hand, I have been really frustrated the last 2 weekends at home. Hubby is, on the whole, very supportive of my BTS aspirations… I would likely never have even started university courses, never mind gone so far with it, if it weren’t for him.
But now that he is not working, he’s pretty darn bored. So when I get home he wants to talk. And do stuff. And spend time together. And talk. And do stuff. And… well, you get the idea.
Between that, and phone calls, and friends dropping by and falling down going boom several times a day and…
I didn’t get much done. Not nearly as much as I needed to get done.
And I’m worried that I won’t be able to not only DO everything that needs doing in the time remaining - but also do well… I am not used to failing. I haven’t yet had the experience … and while I’m sure it would be a growth experience, it is NOT ONE I WANT! Definitely not on my transcript, also.
So - I’m tempted to drop … and mental health wise, that would probably be a logical choice. But I have not yet reached a decision. I should. But but but but!
I don’t know what to do *whine*
but I will figure it out.
I did email the L&M prof asking for feedback … part of my frustration is that I have NO FRICKEN IDEA how I’m doing in that course. Every week we write a 3 page paper. But we don’t get them back. No news is good news? Maybe? I dunno … but it freaks me out and is contributing to my stress. If she would give even one marked one back I would feel more confident about the major paper that is worth a huge chunk of the final mark. Even if she hated it - at least I would know what she is looking for.
Did submit the paper I was stressing about last night - and presented it today. No idea how I did on it.
It was so much easier in undergrad. When I was talking to Ross tonight on the phone, he said “of course you can do this; you’re a star” It’s easy to be a star in undergrad. Not the same in graduate school. Not at all.
There’s no reason to think you’re less of a star now. You need to decide what you can and can’t do. Either way, though, you’re a star to me.
we do a paper every single blessed week and I spend more time on that than on any of my other courses even though each one is only worth at most 2% of our final marks…
but she never, ever gives them back. If she’d been commenting and giving them back I would have changed my approach accordingly - but she waited until today - more than halfway in - to give us general feedback and basically, I have not been giving her what she wants.
She also covered - today - what we should have been doing all the way through to prepare for the oral exam … basically, now to do okay on it, I would need to go all the way back to the beginning and go through all of the articles again …
I had pretty much decided to stick it out - but this morning tipped the balance WAY in the other direction.
By the end of the class, I was determined to drop it …but then talked to Ross again and he hates the idea and thinks I’m just panicking and “you always do this and then you do great and …”
So I’m right back where I started at I DON’T FRICKEN KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! *WHINE*
I know the feeling. My husband seems to find things for me to do. He calls me every day do something. Monday he didn’t have to be to work until 2pm. He slept until 11. I had the entire house clean before he rolled out of bed at 11. Over the weekend I did 13 loads of laundry because I get zero help with the chores.
I’m so overwhelmed now and so far behind. It’s insane. Now is the time for me to put my head down and just plow through. That’s all I can do. I need to turn off the noise and let things fall through the cracks. The mess will be there at the end of the term.
I hope you can find your answer. Please know you are not the only one plowing through. There are many of us moms and *mature* women doing it right along with you!
According to entrecard, you should “drop”